Self-Care Is More Than Self-Comfort

I’ve never been the best at taking care of myself. I’m not sure where the disinterest comes from, but I do know that I feel like my physicality holds me back from becoming all that I am truly capable of being. I know that I am a soul in human form, here to grow through my experiences, but I’ve never felt like I belong in this world. And I’ve spent most of my life searching for meaning.

Working for Celestine Vision has given me great purpose, yet when I initially dove headfirst into my work, I found, ironically, that I was fading even further away from my own spiritual development. I allowed my focus to be drawn away from myself and my life, and to be placed onto others, to help their growth. I was no longer behaving like the star of my life movie, but rather I was casting myself as a co-star who supported others. Despite knowing that to help others, we must first help ourselves, I spent considerable time living in this mindset – disillusioned in thinking that my sacrifice was for the greater good and that I would be rewarded in time with my own enlightenment.

What I know now is that in order to develop our Consciousness, we must ensure our Self is our primary focal point.

Neglect wreaks havoc on our entire system

When we stop taking care of ourselves we begin to experience problems on every level.

In my own experience, I found that physically, I became lazy, never exercising, surviving on a diet of processed foods and as a result (even though I’m only in my thirties), my body regularly twinged with aches and pains. A tiredness that no amount of sleep could cure, consumed me, and if there was an illness hovering around my neighbourhood, you can be sure I picked it up. Moreover, every time I looked in the mirror, I found it to be a negative experience – my image reflecting back to me the poor health choices I was making.

At this stage in my life, my body’s energy level was so low, it struggled to support the enlightened state I so deeply wished to attain. And in this state, I felt my entire foundation shake.

When we fail to take care of our body, the impact can ripple out across our entire life. It may be seen in our finances and poor money management, the clutter in our our home, insecurity in our relationships, and a lack of safety and trust with others and ourselves. We begin to lose our sense of abundance and wellbeing, which leads into negative thoughts and emotions. Doing things that bring us pleasure, seeking new experiences, and connecting deeply with others can all too often become daunting tasks that drain us more than they uplift us.

At my lowest point, my ability to be confident and in control of my life had become a skill I’d completely lost touch with. Looking around at the world, it seemed so easy to blame everything and everyone else for my own lack of self-worth, confidence, and esteem. I’d forgotten who I am at my core, including how to healthily love, express joy, and feel inner peace. The illusion of separation from my Self, in turn, limited my willingness to speak my truth because of my deep rooted fear of disconnection.

Spiritually, I felt I’d lost sight of my intuition, imagination, and inner wisdom. When in reality, I hadn’t lost anything at all, but I’d closed myself off so much that the Universe’s messages could no longer reach me.

Enabling A Shift in Self-Care

I recently had a timely conversation with an Enneagram coach, about how we believe Self-Care requires dedication, discipline, and responsibility. She told me that Self-Care is not always fun, but it forces us to engage with ourselves and what we’re experiencing. Self-Comfort, however, is usually enjoyable as it helps us to numb emotional turmoil and check-out. We need both, but we also need to acknowledge they’re different.

This encounter was just the wake up call I needed. And I’ve finally admitted to myself that I tend more towards Comfort than true Care. Sleeping in until the afternoon, binge watching Netflix, and mindlessly scrolling through my Facebook feed, may have provided me with some mindless relief in the past, but those activities have never fulfilled or rejuvenated me – and nor have they ever helped me achieve that definitive Shift in energy I’ve been yearning for. Grasping for instant gratification has always resulted in me slacking off on all my responsibilities. Tasks begin to pile up, anxiety ensues with the overwhelm, anger sets in, and negativity begins to pour out in my thoughts and feelings. The energy I project affects my home, my family, and my entire life as the chaos creates a never ending cycle.

Real Self-Care gives me the results I truly want, and I recognize now that it actually does take work through dedication, discipline, and responsibility. For me, I know that I need to consciously make a choice to do the things I don’t want to do (like chores, that I would rather avoid like the plague) so I can better manage my time to find balance and embrace wellness. Self-care “means being the hero of your life, not the victim. It means rewiring what you have until your everyday life isn’t something you need therapy to recover from.” ~Brianna Wiest

When we truly take care of our body, we raise our vibrational level to the highest physical level possible, and this in turn elevates our spiritual growth. Our mind, body, and soul are all intrinsically linked, and if we allow ourselves to self-destruct our body through poor choices, we sabotage our entire journey.

Setting our intention to truly nurture our bodies, increases our Self-Care in ways that creates more value in our lives. Making an action plan helps us know what self-care looks like for each of us. The pursuit of health and happiness is a very individual thing but the result of making healthy, responsible choices allows us all to see an improvement in every aspect of life.

Do you need to take better Care of your Self?

These 10 questions are offered to help you reflect on your own self-care needs:

1. What do you need to forgive yourself for?
2. If a person spoke to you the way you think about yourself, how would you react?
3. What tasks are you putting off that eventually build up and cause conflict for you?
4. What do you need to help motivate you to take responsibility for your self-care?
5. What are 2 or 3 ways you can be more loving towards yourself that brings joy to you?
6. Are you living authentically? If not –
(a) what do you really want to say or do
(b) what is holding you back from taking action
(c) what positive outcome could come from being true to yourself?
7. What do you need more of in your life? What do you need to let go?
8. If you continue to do what you are doing now, what will your life look like in 5 years?
9. What are 10 things that make you a good person?
10. What are your priorities and how do they fit into your self-care action plan?