Toxic Relationships
If a relationship with a family member becomes toxic, distancing them may be the best solution. As mentioned above, a relationship is between two people. If one person refuses to keep up their end of the bargain and maintain the relationship, then the other person should not allow themselves to endure further negative and hurtful behavior from the other family member.
People who don’t have nurturing or healthy family relationships should strive to make close friends that become their family. Family does not only have to mean people who are connected by blood. If the relationships between biological family members are not healthy, then they should seek out healthy, mutually beneficial relationships elsewhere.
Some of the most unhappy people are those who cling to family relationships that drain them of their energy and happiness because they think family should always be close. No one is worth the sacrifice of happiness. If a relative does not respect another relative enough to treat them with compassion and love, then the familial bond should mean nothing. Life is too short for people to surround themselves with people who do not care about them enough to show them respect.
Look Inward
All family relationship problems should also be examined as internal problems. One person cannot change another person’s behavior or way of thinking. However, that first person can change their own behavior or way of thinking.
One person could be mad at the other for something thoughtless they said or did, or they could be upset at the way the other person spends money. There’s nothing either person can do to change the way the other person is thinking. In fact, both of them probably think they’re right!
The best solution is to treat the problem as an internal one instead of an external one. A person can experience peace if they look inward and adjust the way they feel about a situation. No one can control or change other people’s emotions, but they can alter their own. If the argument isn’t serious, then changing one’s own feelings about the matter is a quicker solution than trying to change the mind of the other person.
For example, if two family members are arguing because one always nags the other one not to leave their dirty socks on the floor, it’s better for the first one to accept that the second family member is simply never going to put their laundry in the dirty clothes hamper.
Instead of ceaselessly arguing about it, it’s easier for the first family member to simply accept this aspect of the second family member’s personality. This is a petty argument that doesn’t mean anything in the long run. No family relationship should be damaged just because of some dirty socks! However, if the issue is more serious, like an argument over parenting, then both family members should seek to find a compromise.
The maintenance of family relationships is important because family is supposed to support each other for life. Whether this family is biological or composed of friends, the same rules apply. Family members should treat each other with kindness, compassion, and respect. They should never be afraid to approach each other about disagreements and problems. It’s much better to feel uncomfortable while working out a problem than to feel uncomfortable navigating a relationship in which two people are struggling under the weight of a disagreement that neither one will acknowledge.
It’s not hard to understand your family relationship problems once you realize you can only control your own thoughts and actions. As long as familial love is kept at the forefront of both relatives’ minds, all problems can be solved.
See more articles about Relationships
To learn more, listen to these CV Podcasts:
The Big Picture – Resolving Family Issues For The Holidays
The Big Picture: Staying Peaceful During The Holidays
